PME 800- Setting Goals for Inquiry
How often do you find yourself setting goal? Most likely, and if you are like me, almost daily. Sometimes I find myself working on a handful of goals to realize the following week I already gave up. When I learned we would be focusing on goal setting for my masters class I quickly thought, well this will be a piece of cake. Seriously, I thought this would be easy (unaware of how easily I give up or never complete an actual goal). If you don't believe me when I say I rarely complete a goal that is simply for myself, ask my husband. When I told him the assignment, his response was, "well, here goes transformation #82." Seriously! I swear I haven't started and stopped that many "workout" plans. Or maybe I have...
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It just so happens, right before this course started, I finished a book by Rachel Hollis called, "Girl Wash Your Face." If you haven't read it, it is life changing. If you have, then you know! Anyways, she makes a personal connection to goal setting that I think most of us can relate to. So, in order to get geared up for my journey, I read this excerpt just one more time!
My Goal
By March 10th, I will be able to do the splits.
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Why did you choose your Distal goal?
I picked this goal because I have always wanted to be able to do the splits. I have set many goals for myself (run a 1/2 marathon, complete a diet plan, ect) and achieved it. I have always put this goal in my head but never followed through with it. Now, with this opportunity in class, I can put my heart and soul into this challenge.
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Is the Distal goal achievable within the time frame of this course?
I am 15 inches from the floor. My sub goals are to improve by two inches each week. As of now, I think I can continue to reach my sub goals. If I need to I will adjust my goal.
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Are your Proximal goals reasonable divisions in the inquiry process?
Yes, each week I will become 2 inches closer to the floor. This means I will track the progress with pictures and measurements.
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Will the achievement of your Proximal goals motivate you?
Yes, Each week of progress will help motivate me and show me my goal is possible. I also have a reward at the end of the challenge for when I complete this goal! I plan to reward myself with a new pair of pants.
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What issues/challenges/problems do you anticipate going into this inquiry project?
My only challenge is limited time. I know this is a goal I want to achieve but also do not want to push my self into injury by trying to achieve this goal to quickly.
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How might you deal with those issues/challenges/problems? What strengths do you have that might help you meet these challenges?
I might need to adjust my goal and add in more time. My strengths are that I am driven and that this has always been a goal of mine. Now, I am just putting it in motion. ​
Week 1 Reflection
Yikes! I did not realize how bad my flexibility was! I started off by measuring how far away from the floor I was. I am 15 inches away, folks! Good grief, I have some work to do. I set weekly goals (as seen in the chart above) to get 2 inches closer to the floor each week! And guess what?! Week 1, is done and I did it!
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Research: I have been doing research and one article that caught my eye was #Journeytothesplits by Blogilates. She is known for having an app to help people on their journey to the splits in 30 days. She explains that we must do her recommended stretches 1-5 each day and then add one more new stretch as the days progress. A lot of hope and interesting information I learned came from the comment section on her blog. Many others are just as far away from the floor as me, and have done it! So here I am, ready to go!
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What I learned this week:
This goal is something I CAN do. I will do it and am driven to complete this on time. I am focusing on being in the learning zone during the week while stretching. My performance zone will be each week when I measure to make my weekly goal! My lesson this week is to not take this as an assignment or a job, but to enjoy the process. I plan to use the stretching sessions to focus on me, become more in tune with myself, and relax!
Week 2 Reflection
Well, time for an update! I have stayed on track with my daily stretching and am ready to do a check in! I am a bit nervous as I am pretty sore from yesterday's leg day at the gym. Too many lunges and split squats! I have posted a picture to show evidence that I am sticking to my plan and a picture to show you my improvement! Most importantly, I am not breaking a promise to myself.
This is a free app called "Splits in 30 Days." The Blogilate's app wasn't free so I went this route. So far I really enjoy it. It makes me hold different poses and adds more time each day. It has me starting each stretch by only holding it for 45 seconds. I can't even imagine how long day 30 will be for!
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Research: https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/23/books/eiko-splits-self-help-new-marie-kondo.html
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This NY Times article, "So, You Say You Want To Do The Splits?" was very helpful. It actually lead me to buying a book that would give me more information on this challenge. This book is by Eiko. She is "a yoga teacher based in Osaka, the book has you do several minutes of yoga and gentle bouncing every day for a month, at which point you’ll be able to do the splits while seated on the floor." She also mentions the health benefits that go along with being able to accomplish this goal. "If your body is stiff, it becomes harder and harder to do things like walk, step over things, pick things up, sleep or even sit." This makes total sense and I already see my posture being better after two weeks.
Taken From NY Times Article:
The results are in and exactly what I needed to keep myself on track! EEEEK! I did it! I am down two more inches! Only 11 more to go!
“How Are You Going to Achieve Anything If You Can’t Even Do the Splits?” — about two shame-ridden employees of a corporation in Japan who discover the joys and benisons of shake yoga. The gentle Oba is being outworked and outplayed by his younger colleagues, and harried Umemoto fears her work has deteriorated because of poor time management skills and a lack of self-restraint. But Oba and Umemoto’s lives change dramatically when their new boss Hori encourages them to start meeting in the conference room at 7:30 a.m., where they cover the floor with some “picnic sheets for cherry-blossom parties” and then stretch and bounce their way to a new life — the kind of life that’s led by people who can do the splits. “That sparkle you feel, that sense of respect,” as Hori puts it, “ … is something you reserve for the kind of people who keep on trying to accomplish something that most people can’t.”
Asked why she chose to highlight professional shame and embarrassment in the short story, Eiko responded, “Whether or not you can do the splits is a battle with your own insecurities. Many of the people who buy the book have an inferiority complex because they’ve been inflexible ever since they were children. Many Japanese people have inferiority complexes about not being able to speak English or about being overweight, and lots of people feel the same way about being inflexible. For people like that, being able to do the splits means changing their ‘no-good self’ into something good.”
My lesson from this week:
Have you ever felt like all of a sudden everything is aligned? I am shocked with the simple routine I created and this goal being on my mind how many other things fall into place.
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I am a big believer of the self-help author Rachel Hollis. She always says when you focus on only ONE goal at a time, everything else will fall into place. I am seeing this now. All of a sudden, I am finding myself filling up my water bottle more, moving in between class breaks, and making healthier choices (especially in the evening!). When we focus on one goal we can give it 100%. It makes everything else around us become natural and come together. When we try to focus on 2-3 goals at a time, we have to divide our energy and focus. This only allows each goal to have 30% of your best effort.
Here are some new resources I found this week to help me continue to strive for success too!
Blogs:
These blogs are ones about other peoples journeys to the splits using the same stretching program as me.
https://www.blogilates.com/30-days-30-stretches-to-splits-journeytosplits/
These sites are great because it offers more stretches and different ideas to achieve this journey.
https://www.elephantjournal.com/2013/04/visual-yoga-blog-the-cheaters-guide-to-doing-the-splits/
https://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/a19941694/how-to-do-a-split/
Web-Based Articles:
These web-based articles are about goal setting, motivation, intentions, and the splits. I picked these web-based articles because I connected with them when I read them.
https://www.nytimes.com/2018/02/23/books/eiko-splits-self-help-new-marie-kondo.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-blame-game/201204/the-value-goals
https://jamesclear.com/implementation-intentions
Videos:
Beachbody On Demand Yoga Flow Classes
Anthony Robbins speech is amazing and exactly what I needed to hear. He talks about how a millimetre makes a huge difference. When engaging in the splits, even a millimetre makes a difference. It helped me focus on the goal and celebrate even the smallest achievements.
https://www.trendhunter.com/keynote/anthony-robbins2
Human Resources:
While on this journey, I have informed my chiropractor and trainer of what I will be doing. My chiropractor has talked to me about being aligned and stretches to help increase flexibility. My trainer is aware of my goal and will help keep me accountable too.
My Chiropractor, David.
Trainer at the gym, Jenny.
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Book:
I came across this book while reading the NY Times article, so I ordered it off Amazon! I am excited to get reading!
Even the Stiffest People Can Do the Splits : A 4-Week Stretching Plan to Achieve Amazing Health by Eiko
Week 3
Uh oh! Houston, we have a problem! I was worried about this happening. I was making such good progress and feeling great with my daily stretching routine. Each stretch I was pushing a bit further but it was becoming a little painful. I knew there would be a point in this journey where the stretching would not be comfortable. It almost feels like my body won't go any further, as if my bones won't move. Can my tendons and muscles stretch anymore? Is it possible? But, from the research I have done, this is normal and I just have to continue the daily stretching.
So, my small goal each week was to get 2 inches closer to the floor. I stretched like a mad dog this week and only went down 1 inch. It reminded me of one of my resources I found. Anthony Robbin's speech about how a millimeter makes a difference. Even though I didn't get the two inches closer, I got 1. And, that is still a step in the right direction. A step closer to my goal. So, I will not beat myself up over this and but I think in order to properly achieve my goal, I need to re-adjust it!
What I learned so far...
Failure has never been my jam. When I set goals (for example: weight loss) I become obsessed. I step on the scale daily (which is putting me in the performance zone every day) when I should be checking in weekly and being in the learning zone. I have mastered this new skill of practicing until this week. I failed. I didn't meet my weekly goal which ALMOST turned into a downward spiral. I remembered reading and listening to the TED talks from class. This is not failure, this is a lesson. So, instead of getting upset, I changed my plan in order to continue to make it happen! I learned a new way to deal with failure this week. And boy, does it feel good!
Here is an update on my goals chart.
Goal Adjustment: By April 10th, I will be able to do the splits.
After talking with my peers and teacher, I decided that adjusting my goal was the best option. I wasn't sure how to do this right away. Do I set my end point for March 10th when class ends and hope I keep motivation or push my date to a further time and use subgoals? After we talked, I realized that keeping a date to strive for would keep me motivated even after the class was over. Plus, I no longer break promises to myself! So, when the assignment is complete, I will present my subgoals. Here is my new tracking system!
This is my goal for the assignment deadline, but I will continue after, don't worry!
Week 4
Week 4 required me to do some thinking and reach out to peers and my professor. I went through many emotions this week about this goal/assignment. Since it is also an assignment, I was in panic about what if I do not complete it? I also was angry with myself as I have been doing the work but am not improving at the speed I wanted to! I actually told my husband I wish I would have picked my other idea (learn how to solve a rubix cube) instead! Clearly, I hit a low in my challenge. But after more thinking, I realized I was upset because this is something I care about and am driven to do. So, here we are at week 4 and 9 inches from the floor. Hey, at least I am not at 15 anymore, right?
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Maybe I also got worked up because after doing more research I found an article of a 90 year old lady who could do the splits. How is that possible! I was impressed and very happy for her but also a little jealous that someone so fragile and old has achieved this goal that I find to be so challenging.
With this new challenge and being more self aware of my SRL skills I decided to learn from her instead of being jealous. Before this journey and class, I would have been angry that someone else is achieving what I wanted or felt it wasn't fair. My new skills have guided me to look at this differently. It is amazing that this lady can do the splits! Clearly, her stretching daily has allowed her to live a long happy life. She seems in tune, smart, aware of life, and happy! This journey I am on, when I continue the stretching habit I have formed, will set me up to be able to have all these wonderful things that this lady has gained from stretching. Great things take time. Patience is key. Everyones journey is different.
What I gained from this week:
1) Things take time: She has been doing yoga for 30 years. So, clearly, the splits didn't happen over night. I need to continue to be patient in my journey. I am not going to magically get to the ground in one day. And that is OKAY!
2) Try new things and learn from others: I decided to add in her recommendation of side bends, back bends, ect every day.
3) Look at the gains, not the fails: She mentions how doing yoga daily teaches you to deal with things. Problems occur daily, and when you learn to stretch and mediate you become centered and will help you through life. I can already see a change in myself with how I am dealing with problems. I am more calm. I take a few minutes to respond.
Week 5
I see my reward in sight!
I am feeling very positive and driven currently. I am excited to tackle the last few weeks of this journey. When I submit my project, I will submit my sub goal of where I will be March 10th. I will continue my goal after to complete it.
In a yoga class this week they discussed how flexibility can be taught and learned. I questioned this comment and decided to go do research. I called my parents whom are both very fit and active. My mom is a marathon runner, 7 days a week gym go-er, and yoga junky. My dad also works out a handful of times during the week. After talking with them, I learned my dad used to be able to do the splits (and would give it a try this week to see if he could get it back!). He was a track runner and did hurdles. He told me that hurdling is why he can do the splits because they stretched everyday and if they could get their legs in a certain position, they were better hurdlers. So, he stretched constantly to be able to achieve this.
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While I waited for my dad to show me his talent, I looked up this question. Is flexibility inherited?
https://www.healthyway.com/content/flexibility-inherited-or-learned/
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BUT...
"Dr. Paul Weitzel, an Orthopedic Surgeon at New England Baptist Hospital told the Boston Globe that we all have a baseline level of tightness and flexibility but with some effort we can improve that level by about 20-25 percent."
So, believe it or not, the key to the splits is continuous practice! Based on this research and article, it is possible to improve my flexibility. Even though we know it isn't all based off genetics, there is no need to know if my father can do the splits or not... but, I know you are dying to see it. So, he did my stretching app program with me, and gosh darn it, he almost had it!
And the next thing you know... I have my own personal trainer!
Advice from my father...
1. "The middle splits are harder to do than side splits."
2. "Butterfly stretch and holding uncomfortable poses are key."
3. "Everything in life that we want will be hard. That is what makes it worth fighting for."
Week 6
I am taking my dad's advice and trying both split versions (middle and side) now. Things are going great. You also probably thought I left you hanging with no measurement update last week. When my performance zone day arrived, I was stuck traveling 24 hours from Norway to Toronto, and then driving to Detroit. So, I am not sure the flight attendants would like me taking up the aisle space to do the splits. Although, it would have made for a great selfie for the blog! So, from what I have learned in this class and about myself, I decided to skip the performance zone day of actually measuring. I didn't want to throw off my currently plan and state of mind. So instead of letting a traveling day hurt me, I got up 10 minutes early to stretch before we left for the airport and felt proud of myself for not breaking that promise.
Good news is, I am at my parents house right now, so I have a partner to stretch with each night (because my dad is so into as well now!) and someone holding me accountable. I am not saying I was slacking by any means, but there is something different that occurs in yourself when someone is watching. Hopefully this is a SRL I can get better at when I am on my own. But knowing someone is watching me means I am not quitting my stretch when the timer is at 3 seconds left. I am waiting for the buzzer!
A chat with a peer...
I had a nice chat with a fellow Queen's student about how when we want something, we make sure it happens. I easily could have said, "I am traveling today, I will do it tomorrow." But because of this class and goal setting journey I am learning that isn't a great way to live your life and chase your dreams! So here is to many more days of putting what we want first and getting it done!
My biggest take back from this journey...
If you are a yoga master out there, then please do not take offense to this, but I thought everyone was crazy in class with all that DEEP LOUD BREATHING! Here is a video incase you are not aware of it.
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So, when my poses became painful and my app was asking me to hold them for 90 seconds, I started breathing like this. I instantly relaxed and was able to push a little further and further.
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Anyways, I found myself using these breathing techniques before I would respond to something that bothered me. Without thinking I was doing this! I was amazing how something I was practicing everyday was paying off in real life situations!
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Side note: I no longer think the loud breathing in crazy!
A few things...
I posted a picture to the top left of my completed 30 days of stretching app. I really did like using the app because it held me accountable. I felt that it had great stretches and increased time each day. I was holding poses for 90 seconds at the end! I also posted my two least favorite (hardest) poses to hold. The frog stretch literally was challenging every time.
I am not sure where I want to go yet with my next 30 days to complete my goal. I am determined to follow a plan, so I will do some research to see what is out there!
I apologize for the bad quality photo. My parents home is full of glass windows and there is no good spot to get a photo without sun glare! Anyways, I am right now track! 7 inches from the floor like promised! Now, the challenge is... this final inch!
I took the advice of my father and added the side splits in as an option. Obviously all of my stretching would help with this pose too! I am right on track at 7 inches from the floor here too! Side splits seem to have a lesser pull on my groin, tendons, and muscles. I think I will have more success with the side splits.
My data tracker
Since I have changed my goal to complete the splits (side or middle) by April 10th, I will be submitting my sub goal or proximal goal of being 6 inches from the floor by March 10th!
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Goal: By April 10th, I will be able to do the splits.
Proximal Goal: By March 10th, I will be 6 inches away from the floor in the splits (side or middle)!
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Guess what....
I did it!!!
So, I met my goal of being 6 inches away from the floor in the side splits! I am so totally okay and proud of this! I am still 7 inches away in the middle splits, so I will continue to work on both while I complete the rest of my weekly goals!
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The Reward!
Since I completed my goal, I earned my new pair of pants! I also got a little something extra too!
Week 7 & Final Reflection
If you have made it this far, thank you for following along. Now, you clearly saw I did it! Boy am I happy, but I have to remember the journey is not over!
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My reflection:
1. In order to achieve a goal, we must engage in the proper steps. Prior to this experience, I always just said "I want to lose weight." I never set myself up for success like I did for this goal. I planned out each week, each day, each learning zone stretching session. I implemented the goal into my life as if it was equal to brushing my teeth in the morning. I made sure I wasn't letting to the goal slip away when life got crazy.
2. I have gained SRL skills that without this process I would not have achieved. I no longer focus on achieving my goal everyday. I focus on the steps needed to achieve my goal. I focus on putting one foot in front of the other toward my goal. I look at the goal in a bigger picture with smaller goals.
3. I am stronger toward failure. Failure is just a word. A word that used to haunt me and bring me down. Now, failure means lesson. A lesson that I can learn from. Not the end of the world, not a bump in the road, a lesson that will make me grow.
4. Patients. I learned that things take time. Great things do not happen over night. This SRL skill was something I was never great at but now feel I have a grasp of it. Being able to picture each weekly goal that was moving toward my bigger journey allowed for me to feel progress each week.
5. I learned that adjusting your goal is not failure. Adjusting your goal sets you up for success. Prior to this class, I would have gave up if I didn't meet my goal, but I learned that adjusting it allows you to continue your goal and keep you on track instead of just ending because you didn't complete it.
6. Finally, I learned to believe in myself. I learned to not break a promise. I learned that I CAN do anything if I put my mind in it and properly prepare!